Top 10 Reasons To Not Take A Newborn To Japan

1. People tell you you can’t travel with a baby
2. People tell you not to
3. People tell you it’s impossible to travel with babies
4. …?
5. The baby might cry or something
6. You might make total strangers on a plane upset or whatever
7. People tell you that you can’t do it
8. “Isn’t she a bit young to leave the house?”
   • Cat cafes won’t let you in with a baby, and this is actually true
9. Uh….
10. People are stupid, take your newborn to Japan because it rules!

Traveling with a newborn was rad. Don’t listen to people who naysay. If we can do Japan, you can do anywhere. MAKE SURE TO CHECK THE BABY GEAR SECTION TO SEE THE AMAZING BABY STUFF WE TOOK!

“YOUR TRAVELING DAYS ARE OVER”

So yeah, we had a baby. A perfect, adorable, amazing, gorgeous, beautiful baby girl. She’s dope. But I can’t count how many times people said something along the lines of, “Enjoy traveling while you can, once you have a baby it’s over for you.” And so forth. So yeah, strictly out of spite, I made a mental note that I would take my baby everywhere as soon as possible.

In fact, when I first held her, I said “I love you” and then I didn’t know what else to say so I told her all the cool places we’d go and things we’d do together. I’m not a liar, so I knew I had to get a move on it. And quick. So, as soon as doctor said we were good to go, we took baby to Japan.

DOCTOR SAYS: TRAVEL WHENEVER

At our baby’s first or second appointment with our pediatrician, when she was just a few days old, I asked the doctor when we could travel. He asked where we’d be going, and why. I told him I have no idea but I’m a wanderer and that’s why. He loved it. He said it’s generally recommended that you don’t fly until baby has her 2-month shots, but said even before that should be fine.

Caitlin, being a medical professional, and I, being a very adult person, decided we wouldn’t take her on a plane until her vaccinations were done. So that meant shots at the end of November for baby, international travel at the beginning of December for baby. Win!

YEAH, BABIES NEED PASSPORTS…AND THEY HAVE TO OPEN THEIR EYES FOR THE PHOTO

One of the first times we took baby out was, sadly, to one of the seven levels of hell listed in Dante’s Inferno…the United States Post Office.

I think she was like 10 days old or something, and honestly we didn’t even realize she needed a passport (thanks Google) while we looked at trips. When we found out, we booked the appointment and the fateful day came.

Luckily, the (normally grouchy) USPS people were happy to see an adorable newborn. Unluckily, they hadn’t really worked with a newborn and, being brand new parents, neither had we. We didn’t realize baby needed to have her eyes open and, being a newborn, that never happens. We tried all sorts of things and it didn’t work. The post office lady suggested we come back some other day, to which I gave a hearty “Shuvvvvvvvvv no,” and we kept trying. Eventually, other people had appointments and we grew desperate. I absolutely did not want to come back, especially because I figured it would be the same result.

So what did we do? Duh, we stripped baby down to her diaper, which (kinda) woke her up just enough to open her eyes for a hilarious passport photo. You have to take some documents that you need to print beforehand, but the process was pretty painless aside from the open eyes thing. We expedited the passport (just in case we found something crazy) and within a couple weeks, baby was ready to fly.

I LOVE YOU DELTA SKYMILES

Look, I’m 34 and I sell onesies. It’s not like I have a ton going for me. Travel is all I have. And we could probably do it with straight cash money, but it’s so much easier and cheaper with SkyMiles. I mean freak, our trip to Japan was like $150 total after using miles.

So yeah, here’s a couple links. Our business card is amazing. We get triple points on shipping, which we do heaps of. Then we use those for miles. And we travel cheap. Just do it.

Sadly, miles had been 40,000 round-trip from SLC to Tokyo but we kinda hesitated. We went through some new parent anxiety and missed the deal, so we ended up spending 60,000 points apiece, which is still good. For baby, we had to pay something like $12. Amazing!

CALL AS SOON AS YOU BOOK TO PUT BABY ON TICKET AND BASSINET REQUEST

We couldn’t put baby on the original reservation, but since we were booking her as a child-in-arms rather than as an actual seat, it was easy to get that done and pay the $12. We were also able to request a bassinet for the flights, but sadly, they told us it was just that: a request, and we wouldn’t know until we got to the gate and requested it again.

FEAR AND LOATHING IN LEHI UTAH

We are first time parents. All of you who have been there know how insane that is, right? I was terrified. I AM terrified. Every day is scary and weird and surreal and fun and exciting and crazy.
So yeah, taking our kid to a foreign nation on a crazy long flight was not a reckless decision or something we took lightly. We chose Tokyo because it’s extremely safe and pretty much disease-free. We were super scared and debated going or not going pretty much every day. Then we decided we wouldn’t let fear dictate our decisions. We chose to be smart and well-informed but not scared. So Tokyo, here we come.

YES DELTA, BASSINETS ARE A THING

We made sure to arrive relatively early for our flight so as to be able to re-request the bassinet. The Delta woman at the airport legitimately told us she had never heard of a bassinet and that she’s “pretty sure” Delta doesn’t do that. Seriously. I mean, even I have heard of a bassinet! So we were a bit nervous, but the next person was much more helpful and told us they didn’t have one on our first leg (SLC to Seattle) but that we would need to check at the gate in Seattle. So off we went to the great northwest.

BUT REALLY DELTA WAS AWESOME AND BABY WAS SO GOOD TO SEATTLE

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention this: Delta was awesome. Aside from our flights to and from Seattle to Salt Lake, the flights weren’t full, so they gave us a seat for baby’s car seat/stroller (more on this later). That was so nice to have so we didn’t have to hold her for the entire flight. And they did it for us both ways to and from Tokyo. Seriously Delta, thank you.

And on our way to Seattle, we had to hold baby and she was amazing. She slept the whole way, only waking up to eat and then right back to sleep. We’d heard that babies get sore ears at takeoff and landing, so we made sure to give her a binky at those times (doc said it helps) and she was great.

PACKING DIAPERSSSSS

Caitlin, being brilliant, just lined all of our bags with diapers. We took 2 backpacks and a carry on, and every bag was filled with diapers, then we filled the empty space in our bags with more. We actually had too many on the trip, which surprised me, but it was easy to pack them and not take up heaps of room.

SEATTLE PRIORITY PASS WAS NICE AND GOOD

After having so many close calls at airports (Ok really only like 2, but still), we made sure to book sufficient time in Seattle to lay over. Since we had a few hours, we made use of our amazing Chase Sapphire Reserve card, which comes with Priority Pass, which got us into the lounge. It wasn’t the most life changing one (still Cambodia, in my book) but it was nice to get out of the busy airport and into a quiet and more private place. The food was decent (not great, but decent) and we were just happy to have gotten there incident-free. Baby was good, we were good, and we were ready to head to Narita.

THE FLIGHT WAS BLOODY LONG BUT FINE

The flight from Seattle to Tokyo was long. Like, really long. Baby was amazing, without even a peep, but she did. Not. Freakin. Sleep. At. All. And since she didn’t sleep, Caitlin and I felt like we couldn’t either. So we were all 3 awake for 12 straight hours. Not ideal.

The only incident that happened was pretty bizarre. I took baby to the bathroom for a diaper change (she needed like 5-6 changes on the flight which was…good, I guess, since it means her digestive system is working?). The bathrooms have baby changing tables which is great, and I changed her several times without a problem. This time, though, as I had her outfit off and was removing the diaper, she peed a LOT. Soaked the changing table and, of course, her outfit. “Whatever,” I thought, “I’ll just take her back to our seat in the diaper and we’ll dress her there”, since we’d brought several easily-accessible outfits.

But wouldn’t you know, I had no diaper somehow. And as I go halfway out the bathroom door with a naked baby, I’m whisper-yelling to my wife to try and get a diaper and/or new outfit. (Yes, I cleaned up her pee with paper towels AND disinfectant wipes). But weirdly enough, there was a long line formed for the bathroom I was hogging. Turns out the other bathroom’s door handle had literally broken off and was no longer usable. Sigh.

Luckily people were cool, I got baby changed, and all was well. Looking back, it’s funny. At the time, it was stressful.

HOLY FREAK TOKYO YOU RULE

The flight was long but not unbearable. Customs were so quick and baby finally started to cry about that time so we took her and changed her and fed her while I figured out where the heck we were going. All I knew was our apartment was near Shinjuku station, so I went to get tickets while Caitlin took care of baby.

Like everything in Japan, finding the train was easy. Buying tickets was easy. Getting on was easy. Everything was so incredibly organized and simple. Having such an easy time navigating and stuff made it heaps easier to focus on baby, so that was nice.

JR RAIL PASS IS ESSENTIAL

I’ll go into this later, but you need the JR Pass. Full stop. We could have used it to get to our first apartment, but the one we got was only able to be used for 7 full days. Since we were there for 8.5, we figured it out (OK, Caitlin did) and saw it made more sense to not activate it yet, so we bought tickets from the airport to Shinjuku Station. They were expensive but we had no other option, so whatever. The train was so quiet and even though it was a long trip (1.5 hours), we got some nice rest and I worked because the train had decent Wi-Fi.

SHINJUKU, YOU CRAZY

When we finally arrived at our station, it was exactly like I expected it would be: Absolutely crazy. Huge billboards, neon signs everywhere, super crowded but very organized…it was amazing. I’m a big fan of those first impressions you get when you see something for the first time, and this did not disappoint. It was so cool to step out into the Japanese night. Shinjuku station is so insanely busy (some say the busiest in the world) but in Japan, the chaos has order. It’s hard to explain but if you’ve been, you know.

So yeah, it was amazing seeing Japan for the first time. I think baby may have loved it even more than we did, or maybe she was just overstimulated. She was taking in all the sights and sounds as much as we were, and it was fun to see. (Also, I almost cried when she got her first passport stamp).

THE APARTMENT: TINY AND JUST WHAT WE NEED WITH NOTHING MORE

I ended up not realizing there were closer stations to our apartment than Shinjuku, they just would have required a transfer, so we got off and had to walk about 20 minutes. As you can tell, it wasn’t the worst thing, but yeah we were bloody tired.

We ended up just getting dinner at 7-11, which is a lot less disgusting than it sounds. The stores over there (we called them dairies in New Zealand, dunno why, but they’re like gas stations that don’t sell gas) are really nice. The cashiers greet you when you come in and they sell lots of nice foods, along with a small selection of groceries. So yeah, we got 7-11 dinner and it was fine. Ok, mine was gross because it was SOOOOO fishy (and I hate fish) like everything else in Japan, but Caitlin loved her dumplings and tempura veggies. Good stuff.

Now, back to the apartment: (By the way, use my Airbnb code here and we’ll both get free money on Airbnb) It was a tiny studio on a nice quiet street. It wasn’t glamourous, but we didn’t need it to be. We were there to eat, sleep, and possibly build a little fort. And that was it. The beds were on the ground, which was not ideal for someone as old and sore and creaky as me, but it was good. From the time we left Lehi to the time we got to our apartment, it was 19 hours…not awesome…but not too horrible. We all slept like babies, especially our baby. And weirdly enough, we didn’t get super jet lagged. We woke up the next morning and just cruised.

POCKET WIFI IS VERY IMPORTANT

So Caitlin and I are on T-Mobile, which is awesome because they don’t charge for international data and texts. I cannot stress how amazing that is and how much less we’ve been lost because of it. However, in Japan, although we have T-Mobile, you’ll spend lots of times in subway and train stations where phone data internet might be next to zilch. Hence, pocket Wi-Fi rules. It’s just a little hotspot you carry, and our Airbnb included it which was super nice. When we got to Kyoto we didn’t have it, and it wasn’t a super big deal but it would have been nice. I know you can rent pocket Wi-Fi at airports and train stations, so if you don’t have phone data you will absolutely need it.

DAY 2: DANG SHINJUKU YOU REALLY CRAZY…STARTING WITH BREAKFAST

Our next morning started, as so many travel mornings do for us, with me roaming the streets of a strange city looking for my obsession: grocery stores. I found a little one called Aeon which was pretty lame since it didn’t have much of anything, but there’s a chain called Family Mart all around Japan (and Thailand, BTW) and it was great. They have tiny Red Bulls, which was the greatest thing to ever happen to me, as well as so many amazing cakes and pastries and yogurts and candy and chips and I just want to cry thinking about it all… I ate about 1,000 of these steamed egg buns that are custard flavored which are basically really thick heavy vanilla cakes, they were so bloody good. And lots of delicious cream filled donuts and stuff, which is weird, because everyone in Japan is so skinny but all the food I found was not skinny person food. Still, it ruled…HOWEVER

COKE SELLS LAXATIVE COKE IN JAPAN! REPEAT, COKE SELLS LAXATIVE COKE IN JAPAN

As part of my victorious grocery haul, I bought a Diet Coke with a white label, it was called Coke Plus. I didn’t know what it was, just that it was new, so I bought it and drank it BEFORE looking it up. Big mistake. Coke Plus is freakin laxative Coke. Seriously. Only in Japan, man. Crazy stuff.

WELCOME TO THE FUTURE: EXCHANGING CURRENCY IN A VENDING MACHINE

We ended up just roaming the Shinjuku area (the station is nuts, by the way) looking for a place to exchange some USD into ¥ but really I just wanted to roam. It was a beautiful day in the mid 50s, insanely crowded everywhere we walked, and I wanted to just feel Japan for a minute. Finally, Caitlin got sick of feeling Japan out because my minute turned into 2 hours and we looked up some exchange places. Weirdly enough, there was a vending machine currency exchange in the front of this gross smoky shop and I thought for sure it would be a huge ripoff so we only did $100. The crazy part is it ended up being the best rate we got in all of Japan. Later I went to a person and we got a full $10 less. And in Kyoto, now that I had learned my lesson, we found another vending machine and got another really good rate. Welcome to the future.

JAPANESE TRAINS ARE LIKE MUSEUMS OR FUNERALS

For someone loud and obnoxious like me, Japanese trains are…difficult. It’s crazy how quiet they are. Like, really really crazy considering they’re packed to the gills. It is so quiet on the trains, usually nobody is conversing or if so it’s only a couple people and really low volume. So needless to say when our baby cried or something on the train or bus it sounded like a scream echoing through eternity, but luckily Japanese people are super polite and love babies so it was all good.

PRIORITY SEATING IS AMAZING

Another amazing thing about Japanese transportation is you have these painted lines on the train platform where people line up to wait for the train. It’s always very orderly and nobody forces ahead or pushes, but the front of the train is priority and means old people, wheelchair people, and people with babies should get to sit there first. And the people actually obey these rules! Caitlin almost always got a seat with baby and was able to nurse baby with the help of a nursing cover. Plus, since the trains are so quiet like I mentioned above, baby loved it and ate really well.

UENO PARK IS PHENOMENAL

Our first stop was Ueno Park and it was, as some may say, dope. It’s just a massive park with a couple fountains and lots of areas to lounge and people were out, old and young, in throngs since it was a nice day. And yes, the gaggle of schoolgirls I saw watching my baby will always remain a fond memory, but even more so the one girl who dared to come up to us and in broken-ish English say, “Your baby…so cute!” while all the other girls nodded and smiled and ooohed in approval with thumbs in the air. Yes, that is one reason I love Ueno Park, but really it’s just a fun place to stroll around and people watch. Lots of school kids out with their classes which was fun to see, and the atmosphere was enjoyable. We also walked around Toshogu Shrine which was very pretty and kinda just marveled that we were in Japan with a newborn who was doing awesome. Take that, haterzzz! (Side note: We did not see the cherry blossoms in Ueno Park since it wasn’t blossom season, but that’s just one more reason to go back).

TOKYO NATIONAL MUSEUM IS…MEH

Yeah I know I’m a diva, so sue me. I was super stoked for the Tokyo National Museum because I wanted to learn all about ninjas and samurai and kabuki and geishas and all the cool Japanese history. In the end it was…not that.

It’s not that there’s not some cool stuff, there surely is. We saw a cool samurai sword and learned a few cool historical things and such. But it wasn’t exciting and Caitlin and I were both surprised how boring it seemed. The grounds are really pretty, and there’s a big pond on the way in, and there’s some cool art and stuff, but I would have been fine if we’d have skipped this. There were several other buildings and exhibits that we could have gone to but our time was getting short so we decided to cut our losses there and move on. Luckily, it was only $6.50 per person so whatever.

DINNER AT SHABUSAI: ONE OF THE BEST MEALS OF MY LIFE

Luckily, I knew some people who had lived in Japan, and something I was told I could not miss was eating Shabu Shabu food. Best advice ever. Shabu Shabu is basically a hotpot, where the restaurant has little stoves at your table and you have boiling broth and boil your own meats and veggies in it. And, uh, dear reader (hi mom), allow me to say this: It ruled.

We got a teriyaki broth as well as a tad bit spicy garlic broth, and both were awesome. The server, who was super cool and friendly, brought us these really thin strips of beef and pork as well as chicken meatballs, all raw, which we boiled. They soak up the broth and the flavor is just insane. Plus, they had a whole buffet-style bar of fresh veggies. In fact, there was a woman there cutting the veggies and she did not stop for the entire 2 hours we were there.

The watercress! The cabbage! The…whatever other green stuff I ate! It was actually better than the meat. I tried some tofu which was decent but not amazing, but the veggies just ruled. Plus they had tons of different noodles and it was all you can eat. By the time we got there, it had gotten a bit chilly so the hot meal was absolutely perfect and seriously was one of the best meals I’ve ever had. They also give you raw egg with your meal and you’re supposed to dip your hot food in the egg and I tried it a tiny bit but decided I couldn’t risk getting sick on our first real day in Japan so I skipped the egg. Maybe some other time. It also came with soft serve ice cream and a soda fountain and was only $15 each, so yeah, it was amazing and totally worth it. Sadly, we made the mistake of wanting to try a different place later in our trip and it sucked, so we only went once. Regrets. Which reminds me…

REPEAT AFTER ME: JAPAN IS NOT THAT EXPENSIVE…

I’d always heard that Japan was so bloody expensive that it made travel there difficult. Like, I was expecting to have to mortgage my house and/or sell part of my liver or spleen to make this trip happen. And yeah, our apartment in Tokyo was fairly expensive for being so tiny, and the trains weren’t cheap, but I was pleasantly surprised how affordable it seemed. We could get a good bowl of ramen or something for $5, and I feel like even in Europe you can’t really get a decent anything for that price. Groceries seemed similar to the USA, maybe a tad more expensive, but not too crazy, and restaurants, if you choose wisely, were actually quite reasonable. Don’t let that stereotype of expensiveness keep you from planning a trip to Japan.

ENDING OUR NIGHT AT SENSO-JI TEMPLE

Luckily Caitlin had also talked to people who had visited Japan and those people happened to love food as much as we do, so this next part was a no-brainer. We heard that in lots of the touristy areas there were pancake goldfish and we needed to eat many of them. Naturally, we complied. We went towards Senso-ji and the area had many goldfish vendors.

Basically, it’s like a pancake in the shape of a goldfish and they stuff it with different fillings. We got one stuffed with custard, which was just vanilla pudding, and one with maple and butter, which made it like an actual pancake. They were $2 each so we naturally ate 12,000. So bloody good.

And the area around Senso-ji is just fun. It’s very touristy with heaps of souvenir shops and little food stands, but also really busy and bustling for being 7 or 8 at night and pitch dark. We had fun looking at all the shops and the temple itself is pretty darn impressive at night.

The temple itself is very ornate and just looks amazing at night all bright against the darkness. There’s also a five story pagoda on the grounds, which I think looked even cooler than the temple itself. There’s a massive lantern hanging on the temple which everyone stops to get photos with, but just being in the area and appreciating the beauty was fun and a perfect end to an amazing day. We headed to the flat and slept like dogs or logs or whatever sleeps well in Japan.

DAY 3: EXCHANGING JR RAIL PASS AND YES, YOU NEED NEED NEED THE JR RAIL PASS

Before I say anything else…TAKE YOUR BLOODY PASSPORT WHEN IT’S TIME TO EXCHANGE YOUR JR RAIL PASS! I think we saw someone get turned away for not having their passport, which sucks.

Anyways, I mentioned that the JR pass is necessary, and I stand by that statement. Between every train and bus we took, we probably saved heaps of money. Plus, it’s amazing to not have to worry about paying or whatever. There’s a bunch of train and metro lines in Japan and the JR Pass is only good for the JR company lines, but in our 7 days using it we probably had an issue with that maybe twice.

So yeah, the pass is almost $300 each, and it shipped in from Spain (get them in advance) and it’s kinda bulky, but once you get it, you can activate it at any main station and then it’s good for 7 consecutive days. Luckily Caitlin had figured it out for us and it was cheaper to pay for our own trains for the first couple days and then activate the pass for the rest of our trip. That way, we got to take the bullet train to Kyoto as well as the train back to the airport, all covered on the pass.

BOOK YOUR TICKETS ON THE RAIL IN ADVANCE IF POSSIBLE

I think I’ve mentioned this like 8 times, but Japanese trains are insaneeeeee, and so it’s good to book your seat on trains in advance. The trains just around the city aren’t bookable (just use priority seating if you can for baby), but the bullet trains and airport trains are able to be reserved as soon as your pass is active. The train to the airport wasn’t crazy crowded, and I’m pretty sure you can probably get on without a reservation, but man…the Kyoto bullet train was totally full, like to the gills, as most trains in Japan are. If we didn’t have reservations on that one, I’m not sure if we would have gotten on. The JR agents are super helpful but you do have to save these tiny tickets for days, so make sure you have your own personal Caitlin who doesn’t lose stuff.

DANG SHIBUYA CROSSING, YOU CRAZY CRAZY

And now, my entire reason for going to Japan: The Shibuya scramble!

Seriously, when we booked Japan, I basically told Caitlin I wanted to go to Shibuya and just people watch and chill, and that was pretty much my only plan. I had heard it was nuts and that it was the busiest pedestrian crossing in the world (no idea where I hear these things, or if they’re true, but I believe everything everyone tells me all the time). And yeah, it’s nuts.

Now I must say, it was slightly less busy than I’d hoped. I was hoping it would be so crowded that nobody would be able to move and we would all meld together and become human mush, but sadly that didn’t happen. It was crazy though, because I think there’s 8 different crossings and they all go at the same time and except for me nearly mowing people down with the stroller, it feels so organized in all its chaos. And it’s crazy that every time the light changes, waves and waves and waves of people come every bloody time. It’s pretty impressive to see and the surrounding area is really fun so it’s an absolute must in Tokyo.

SHIBUYA STARBUCKS IS VERY GOOD

And to make Shibuya Crossing even better, there’s a massive Starbucks inside this even massive-r tall building right across the street. Did we order anything at Starbucks? Of course not. Were all the good seats taken at Starbucks? Of course. There’s a huge window on the second floor which has a perfect view of the crossing, and it’s a big tourist attraction. It seems like most people get those seats and never leave, but I’m always scheming, so we stood behind the good seats (not too close, we’re not monsters) and I pulled out our cute baby. Wouldn’t you know it, within a few minutes people offered Caitlin their seat to sit with baby. Hence another reason to take a baby to Tokyo.

DOLLAR STORE LETDOWN BUT GOOD CURRY

After feeding and changing baby whilst marveling at the nutsiness of Shibuya Crossing, I was getting a bit antsy to explore. Like all other cool touristy areas in Tokyo, Shibuya has so many cool neon billboards and so much to see so I was absolutely ready to see it all. I had heard about this big dollar store in the area, so I was stoked to get there and buy all sorts of bizarre stuff. Sadly, ‘twas not to be.

The store was called Daiso, and it is definitely big. And pretty cheap. But for one, not everything is a dollar (or, as they say in Japan, ¥100). So that was deceiving. But really, it just wasn’t that cool. I mean, it was ok, but nothing special. Later in Kyoto I found a REAL ¥100 shop and it freakin ruled. So Daiso was ok, but not as amazing as I’d hoped. I bought a bunch of candy and drinks and went back out to hit the town.

Caitlin had heard about some gross and lame and bad sushi place (see below, it was her version of heaven), so me and baby took off to find some eats that didn’t come from the sea. I ended up at a place that was pretty highly rated on Yelp called JR Curry (not the same JR as the train people, don’t worry) and they were super crowded but cool enough to find me a place that fit our stroller. I had some good butter chicken and went back out to attack the day yet again.

CAITLIN’S PARADISE: CONVEYOR BELT SUSHI

Now, as I said, Caitlin loves to eat things that shouldn’t be eaten, such as all seafood (unless heavily battered and served with chips, IMHO). She had dreamed of the day when she could eat conveyor belt sushi, where you just push a button on a screen and your sushi comes out on a conveyor belt. Next to simply having fish leap into her mouth directly from the ocean, this is about as perfect a thing as Caitlin could ever imagine.

And did she love it? Yes. Has she talked about it every day since? Yes. And crazy enough, it wasn’t even very expensive. Each sushi piece was between $1-3, so she even got crazy and tried stuff like sea urchin (which she hated), and was able to eat more sushi for less money than ever possible in America. The best part? I wasn’t there so I didn’t even have to smell it! Win win!

HARAJUKU: YOU THE CRAZIEST OF ALL

If I have one regret, it’s that we didn’t spend as much time in Harajuku as I would have liked. There was just too much bloody stuff to do! But yes, Harajuku, you the craziest. From the second you get off the train and see Takeshita Street (seriously that’s the real name), you know you’re in for a treat.

It’s just, like so much else of Japan, totally organized chaos. It’s got neon lights and signs galore as well as so many touristy shops and restaurants and animal cafes and is just so much fun to stroll. The whole section of Harajuku seemed really cool, but particularly the area around Takeshita.

OUR BABY RUINED MY DREAM OF A CAT CAFÉ

Speaking of animal cafes…and I am shaking and crying hysterically as I write this…

Our baby. Prevented. Us. From. My lifelong. Dream. Of entering. A cat café. Or a pig café. Or a hedgehog café. Or an owl café. Or a random animal café that somehow included an otter. Or a Shiba inu café.

Yes, all of those are real and yes, all of those denied us entrance because of our infant. We had a car seat/stroller cover which would have protected baby from any animal that got too curious (plus Caitlin is a total mama bear), but I understand why they wouldn’t let us in. Still, I was legitimately bummed. I wanted to go in the micro pig café the most, but they all looked cool. We sadly gazed into the windows of every one we passed, and if you want to do an animal café, Harajuku seems to be the place with most of them. (As you’ll see when we went to Nara, I guess wild animals do like to try and eat babies).

CREPES AND FRIED CHEESE = <3

One of the hardest, Sophie’s Choice like parts of Harajuku was deciding which of the many delicious looking (and realllllllllly unhealthy) food options to try. Luckily, I’m fat, so I had room for lots, starting with gourmet crepes.

There was a surprising number of crepe places in the touristy parts of Japan, and they were bloody amazing. I got one with caramel, sweetened condensed milk, and whipped cream (ordering this in English, and the girl who took the order got it perfect) and Caitlin got a banana and cookie butter one or something. *Chef’s kiss*

Then, as if I wasn’t happy with the 12 pounds I’d already gained from the crepes and everything else bad I’d eaten, we happened upon a place called JBox which was kinda like Hot Dog on a Stick if you’ve been there in the USA. Take a corndog, but instead of filling it with reconstituted hog anus or whatever hotdog meat is, you fill it with melty cheese so it’s a big melty cheese dog. Absolutely bloody life-changing. They had these delicious sauces you could load up on and basically I probably took 5 years off my life in one night but it was worth it.

We also passed by the cool mirrored entrance to Tokyo Plaza Omotesando a few times and it is pretty mind-bendingly-cool, just lots of mirrors reflecting everyone and everything around making for a trippy experience even just in passing by.

JAPAN IS SO BABY FRIENDLY IT’S AMAZING

I just wanted to note that in addition to learning the word “kawaii” very quickly in Japan (it means cute, and every schoolgirl and old lady we passed said it about our baby, not to brag) and seeing how much Japanese people love babies, we loved how baby-friendly Japan was. It seemed like in almost every train station as well as most tourist attractions and on many trains, there were family bathrooms with baby changing tables. That made it sooooooo much easier traveling with a newborn. Caitlin could duck in there and feed baby quickly if needed and I was a diaper changing machine. Japan, you rule.

FINISHING THE NIGHT AT HARAJUKU GYOZA LOU

As I’ve mentioned like 800 times, we got lots of good tips from people who had both lived in and just visited Japan, and we’re glad we did. Someone had told Caitlin about Harajuku Gyoza Lou, and since we were close we figured we’d give it a try for a late-night snack. We’d read online that it gets crazy crowded and has long wait times, but whatever, we decided to go anyways. And, uh, mmmmmmmmm!

Gyoza is basically just a potsticker, but like 1,000 times better. At Harajuku Gyoza Lou, they have either fried or steamed, and both are awesome. I can’t really explain why, but they were really freakin good. The sauce was good, the filling was good, and the atmosphere is fun. It’s kinda just a small dingy restaurant but fun. The food was super cheap, and apparently the cucumber salad is amazing. Caitlin loved it. I only like cucumbers if they’re soaked in brine and vinegar or whatever makes them pickles, but apparently if you go you have to try it. So go.

A BRIEF NOTE ON THE INSANITY OF JAPANESE TRAINS

Getting home that night was nuts. Luckily, there are trains pretty much everywhere every few minutes, and luckily, they always run exactly on time. But holy x it gets crazy. That night, going back to our flat from Harajuku was absolute insanity. We had to skip the first 2 trains because they were so crowded, and by the third we realized it wasn’t going to change, so we shoved our way on (nicely and politely) with our stroller and basically prayed to not get trampled. It was so packed we didn’t even have to hold onto anything. Aside from the one guy who tripped over our stroller on the way out and gave me an angry look, nobody seemed to care that we had a bulky stroller. Everyone was chill. Funny enough, the whole trip, the only people I heard complain about us having a kid with a stroller on the train was some Australian guy saying to his friend that we “shouldn’t have that pram on a busy train,” or whatever, mate. Japanese people are too polite and chill to tell us, even if they may have thought it.

DAY 4: HOW IS THE TOKYO METROPOLIS BUILDING OBSERVATION DECK FREE?!?!

The next day, the weather wasn’t ideal. It was probably about 45° and gloomy and sprinkling, but not super hard. We had our ponchos and were completely dry most of the day. We walked 12 minutes from our apartment to one of the coolest views I’ve ever seen…

At the Tokyo Metropolis building, on the 45^th floor, there’s these huge and massive and large and big windows and the view of Tokyo you get there is just insane. It’s like Saint Paul’s in London or the Duomo in Florence but it’s…FREE?!?

Seriously, I’m shocked it’s free. I would have paid decent money to see this, and once I actually saw it, I realized I would have paid good money to see it. There are all these cool old Japanese people as tour guides up there to tell you about Tokyo and answer questions, and there’s some random piano in the room that some dude was shredding on…it was pretty bloody cool. The view of Tokyo up there is just ridiculous. It seems like it goes on forever, and for all I know, maybe it really does. You can see the Skytree and the Eiffel Tower thing and pretty much everything else that’s cool. This is an absolute can’t miss in Tokyo, IMHO. There was no line for us, just someone to check Caitlin’s purse and put us on an elevator. Not sure if I mentioned that it’s free, but it’s free. Free. FREE!

TAKASHIMAYA TIMES SQUARE: BEAUTIFUL CHAOS

If you’ve been to NYC Times Square, you probably already know this, but for some reason Japan’s Time Square in Takashimaya just seems crazier. Maybe it’s all the neon signs in Japanese, I don’t know, but we had heaps of fun just roaming the area and wandering through stores and malls and looking for delicious food. Which reminds me…

VENDING MACHINE RESTAURANTS ARE COMMON. THIS ONE WAS MEH

We wanted to try a vending machine restaurant since they’re so common in Japan. No, it’s not just like a vending machine, it’s only kinda like a vending machine. You look at the menu outside (or sometimes right inside the door) and place your order and pay on the kiosk, then find a seat and they bring you the food you ordered. Or something.

This place we ate at was so nondescript I didn’t even get the name of it, but that’s OK because it was pretty blah. I got a ton of tempura veggies, which was good (especially the tempura pumpkin, that’s phenomenal) but everything else was meh. Even Caitlin, the world’s biggest seafood lover, didn’t love her seafood, so you know something was wrong. Plus, they would call out orders in Japanese (shocking, I know) so I basically took our ticket up every time they called a number and asked if it was ours. Finally it was, but it was pretty lame food. The concept of a kiosk restaurant is pretty sweet though and that aspect was fun.

BICQLO…MAN YOU CRAY CRAY CRAZY

This is one place you should definitely stop if you’re in the area. What is Bicqlo, you ask? Well, Uniqlo is clothing and Bic Camera is electronics and if you stuff them together you get a ridiculously large building full of freakin everything. Literally almost everything.

Like, eight massive floors worth of stuff. So many electronics and accessories, clothes, bikes, scooters, and probably a trillion other things. It just feels Japanese, if that makes sense. It is so big that it’s very overwhelming, especially if you have absolutely no game plan besides “let’s just look at stuff,” like us. I guess if you’re in the USA, imagine Best Buy with clothing and times it by 10. Just nuts and awesome and super bright and clean, just like everywhere else in Japan.

ENDING THE NIGHT AT AKIHABARA TIMES SQUARE

After our big day out, we blamed our baby for needing a nap and we all went and slept soundly like the old people we are. Caitlin was tuckered out but I had heard how crazy Akihabara was and I could not skip it, so off I went.

Annnnnnd….meh. I got off the train and headed for the exit called “Electric Town.” I was ready to be blinded by all the neon and craziness I heard was there and then…not much. There was a giant Sega billboard which was cool, and lots of cool game and figurine shops and a bunch of casinos or something, but it wasn’t as cool as I’d heard. Granted, December is probably not peak tourist season, but I heard it was all anime and cosplay (both things I know nothing about) and I wanted to see some weird people and weird stuff and there wasn’t much. In fact, it was probably one of the least crowded places I went, so in the end I pretty much roamed, saw that there wasn’t much to see, and headed home.

MORRISSEY SERVES ME DONER KEBABS

As I stumbled home, I was brutally hungry and realized nothing sounded good. Remembering my amazing kebab experience in Germany, I was thrilled when I saw a place called Hisar Restaurant and was stoked it was still open, since it seemed like things closed early on such a dark and gloomy (and still slightly rainy) night. To my everlasting joy, the guy running the place had a slight resemblance to a Turkish version of Morrissey, although I didn’t ask for Suedehead or Bigmouth, sadly. The place had good reviews and wasn’t crazy expensive, but in the end it was kind of like a “Del Taco” version of Turkish food. Like, Del Taco claims to be Mexican food, but it only bears a slight resemblance to real Mexican food, right? And Hisar had the elements of a doner wrap, but he put this sweet sauce on it that made it feel more like eating a hot dog or something. I dunno. It wasn’t bad, but it certainly wasn’t great. Still, thanks non-vegan-Morrissey-lookalike guy.

DAY 5: SHINKANSEN, BABY!

I woke up stoked on day 5 because I knew I was about to fulfill another childhood dream…the bullet train! I remember being a little kid and hearing that Japan had these cool bullet trains (shinkansen) that go up to 200 miles per hour. I knew I’d never go on a rocket ship (probably), so I figured this would be the closest I’d ever get. Fast forward like 30 years and here I was!

We had to head to Shingawa Station to get on the shinkansen, which was about 40 minutes for us, but no biggie. Finding the bullet train was super easy and the train is wayyyyyy long. Caitlin and I watched it come in and it just kept going and going. The nose of the train is cool looking, almost like a shark. Needless to say I was uber stoked to get on and experience it.

…And yeah, it ruled. It goes super fast and yet is so smooth and quiet that it doesn’t feel like you’re going that fast. Since we had reserved seats, there was no line to get on, but like I said earlier, reserve your bloody seat ahead of time! Every seat in our section was taken, and I know you can go to non-reserved but that section looked crazy to me. Just do it.

KYOTO HERE WE COME

I didn’t mention, but yeah, we were heading to Kyoto, which we’d heard is dope. And since I believe everything everyone tells me all the time, I figured if people said Kyoto was dope, it must be dope and off we went. Taking the shinkansen was just icing on the metaphorical cake.

The train was awesome and the views of Mount Fuji, especially on the way back to Tokyo, were phenomenal. It reminds me a lot of Mount Rainier in Seattle, just insanely beautiful and kinda seems like it’s floating out of nowhere out there.

Also, the train had great free internet so while baby slept I actually felt productive and got some work done. Win!

YOU MUST STAY AT THE DORMY HOTEL IN KYOTO. MUST!

Ok, so Kyoto ruled, but what ruled just as much was the Dormy Hotel. You get off the train at Kyoto Station and you’re pretty much at the hotel, which is nice when you only have backpacks and a baby…the less walking, the better. But trust me, the Dormy is much more than just a sweet location.

DORMY = ONSEN, RAMEN, MINI MART

As usual, Caitlin absolutely crushed the part of this trip she planned. She told me there was an onsen (more on that later) and free ramen every night, so I was sold quickly and easily. But my favorite part is the mini mart that’s attached. It’s a Lawson, which is pretty much like every other small grocery store, and it’s awesome. It’s open 24 hours, so did I go there at 3am? Yes, yes I did. Did I go multiple times a day? Yes, yes I did.

The Lawson is accessible from the street, but even better, there’s a door inside the hotel directly into it. It was pretty much my dream come true. But yeah, about the other perks:

FREE RAMEN IS GOOD RAMEN (EXCEPT TO ME)

Every night at Dormy, they have free ramen. Not like crappy American ramen but real Japanese ramen. I had very low expectations since it was free, but boyyyyyyyy was I wrong.

It was like fully legit. There was a chef wearing a cool chef hat making these giant pots of very fancy ramen. The bowls were huge and were totally like what you’d get at a restaurant, and they were free, all free! Sadly for me though, it was extremely fishy, like everything else in Japan, so it wasn’t my thing. But man, what a cool perk at a cool hotel. Stay there!

ONSEN = GIANT NAKED BATHTUB

Having been to Iceland and knowing that they require nude showers (seriously, they have people whose entire job it is to make sure everyone showers naked…weird job…) I wasn’t really worried that the onsen had a million signs saying you have to shower completely naked before getting in. Old news. What I was shocked at is that you cannot wear clothing into the onsen either.

Basically, an onsen is just a big bathtub. It’s a very traditional Japanese thing, which is why we were excited to try it. They’re normally around hot springs, and I THINKKKKKKK the one at Dormy is around a hot spring but whatever, either way it’s a bunch of hot pools.

And yeah, you can’t wear clothes. Like, I still wonder where everyone even kept their towels, because there was absolutely not a stitch of clothing anywhere. Men and women are separated, so it’s really not a big deal. It was basically me with a bunch of old naked Japanese dudes and Caitlin with a bunch of old Japanese women. And seriously, it’s pretty dang relaxing. Lots of steam and it was a fun cultural experience if you can get over the weirdness.

DON’T PLAN TO EAT BETWEEN 1-5PM

We were fungry (fat and hungry, freakin hungry, whatever) and went to find some delicious food, only to find 4 or 5 restaurants in a row were closed from 1-5pm so we ended up eating at some massive food court. Weird, but good to know just in case.

THE GOLDEN TEMPLE IS PHENOMENAL

As usual, Caitlin had all this stuff planned while my only plan was to roam the streets, soak in the coolness, and try and find some cool drinks that didn’t contain laxative properties. When Caitlin said there was a temple to see, I was in, but when she said it was a GOLDEN temple, I was all in. We caught the JR 3 bus from the main station (again, I can’t stress this enough, STAY AT THE DORMY HOTEL), which was across the street from us, and off we went. As usual, the bus was insaneeeeeeeely crowded, and having a baby in a car seat certainly made it a little more difficult, but people are chill and polite so it wasn’t a huge deal. And, uh, yeah, the Golden Temple is an absolute must see.

As I usually mention, Wikipedia is a thing, so I won’t go into details that you can find elsewhere, usually because I’ll probably butcher the history or description or whatever and Wikipedia (usually) won’t. But yeah, it freakin rules and you need to go. It’s just what it sounds like, a large temple plated in gold. Real gold? No idea. But it was real to me.

And the scenery? Oh the scenery. Don’t get me started on the scenery! You want to hear about the scenery? Fine, the scenery: It’s beautiful. Super lush with a gorgeous koi pond and it’s such a nice and chill walk around the temple grounds. It was a bit crowded, and there were some stairs where I had to carry baby’s car seat/stroller, but it was very accessible and very easy to navigate. It was a gravel trail, so the stroller ride was probably bumpy, but baby didn’t seem to mind. You absolutely cannot miss the Golden Temple.

And again, the bus back to the hotel was even crazier. Like, as Thom Yorke said and I’ve so oft quoted here, we were all Packt Like Sardines in a Crushd Tin Box. But we made it back, and that’s all that matters, and it was an amazing day.

THE KYOTO TOWER IS SWEET AND GOOD FOOD IS UNDERNEATH IT

As usual again, I had no idea what to expect in Kyoto except that it was cool and good and old, so the Kyoto Tower was another pleasant surprise. It’s just a massive and tall building that lights up at night and looks sweet. And, better yet, since our hotel was right by it, it was my guiding north star throughout Kyoto where I always knew where we were (kinda). But the best of all? There’s a big food court in the basement and the food there rules.

When I say food court, I don’t mean like in the USA, where you have some gross cardboard pizza and other disgusting food options like in most shopping malls. In Japan, the food courts we ate at were actual restaurants, many seemed like small mom and pop local restaurants, and pretty much everything we ate was awesome.

On this particular night, we went to a beef place in the food court, which was absolutely bustling. It had bar seating, which was a plus for us since we could park baby’s stroller underneath the bar, and we got a bunch of beef skewers. It was more expensive than we expected to spend ($34), but there were some really good cuts of beef including wagyu, which we’d never had before and it’s a Japanese specialty. Basically though, if you’re in Kyoto and need a bunch of food options, head for the tower and you’ll find something good down there.

Caitlin and baby finished the night at the onsen and I finished the night sleeping soundly whilst Caitlin and baby finished the night at the onsen. Win!

DAY 6: MONKEYS OF KYOTO

Now, once I heard there were a bunch of (wild, I think?) monkeys in Kyoto, I knew I had to go see them, mostly because I closely relate to their lifestyle and behaviors. The only problem, and I found this out too late, is it was pretty similar to the monkeys in Gibraltar, which is to say, super cool but it felt like something we’d already done. So yeah, if you’ve done Gibraltar and seen all the crazy wild monkeys, maybe you’d wanna skip the ones in Kyoto. I dunno. But anyways, on to the monkeys!

First off, we took the train to the monkey stop, and the area where the trail starts is super cool. It feels very European, with narrow streets with very little auto traffic and lots of foot traffic. There are shops on both sides of the road, and we loaded up on unhealthy foods and ice cream and yes, even bought a kimono for baby. Caitlin got takoyaki, which is a fried octopus ball, and surprisingly she didn’t love it. I was actually shocked, because she pretty much loves any slimy thing that comes from the sea. Oh well. The walk towards the monkey trail is super enjoyable and it was a beautiful day and we were just in heaven.

To get to the monkey trail, you cross this bridge over a river and it’s just a fun, pretty area. Even if you don’t actually hike to the primates, the area itself is definitely worth a gander. And if you look online, you’ll see all these opinions, ranging from “the hike is too strenuous, don’t do it” to “the hike is just a walk and I did it with no legs and if you can’t do it you’re fat.” The truth lies, as it usually does, somewhere between these extremes.

It’s about a 20 minute walk, and it is a decently steep incline up. Luckily, it’s paved and there are stairs in area, and I was carrying a 10 pound baby and still didn’t have a horrible time. It took us a few extra minutes than it would have otherwise probably, but neither Caitlin nor I thought the hike was enough of a detriment to not go again. So don’t let that be the reason you don’t go. You can go at your own pace and it’s pretty and tropical and quiet (until you get closer to the top and hear screaming monkeys).

MONKEYS ARE COOL

There’s not a ton to say about the monkeys except that it’s fun to hang out with wild animals besides my family. There were some cute baby ones, and even though monkeys kinda freak me out a little, it was fun to watch them all. Fat ones, skinny ones, ones playing on the roof, babies, toddlers, adults…Kyoto monkeys had them all. As far as I know they’re wild, and there’s a little shack where you can buy snacks (for you, not for them) and watch out the fenced windows where the monkeys come climb around. It’s a fun activity, I think it would probably be more fun with a child who was old enough to appreciate it. Either way, it was a fun and beautiful walk and we didn’t regret going.

TENRYU-JI TEMPLE GROUNDS

After the monkeys, we walked over to Tenryu-ji Temple, which is also called Dharma Hall. There’s supposed to be some cool dragon painting, and it looks cool online, but we were happy just to roam the grounds. On the way, I crammed so much street food down my gullet it was incredible. I was most excited about the yuba, which is tofu skin, and I got mine with cheese and it looked incredible. Sadly, as usual, it was fairly fishy tasting and Caitlin ended up eating more than I did. The idea was good, though. I got some beef croquets from a shop and it was pretty much just fried meat, very salty but good but made me feel the same way I feel when I eat something from an American gas station…heavy and gross. We also got some green tea ice cream, and green tea is called matcha for some reason. Even weirder, we got tofu ice cream. Both of them were decent, not incredible but not bad. But I was in food heaven with all these little shops and couldn’t stop eating. Caitlin also stopped by Miffy Sakura Bakery, which is fairly famous, and bought some baked goods that looked like animals which we promptly devoured. Mmmmm…

Anyways, on to Tenryu-ji Temple…

Actually not really. We just walked around the grounds. There were a few random places to sit and we had to sneak behind some building to change baby on the ground (check out my GEAR section to see the cool stuff we brought for baby) and we got some cool pictures underneath the big orange torii which is the gate thing, and the grounds were a nice place to stroll and relax.

BAMBOO FOREST IS COOL

Just a few minutes away from Tenryu-ji is a cool bamboo forest. It reminded me of the one we visited in Maui, probably because it was a forest with bamboo…weird, eh? It’s just a cool atmosphere and we saw a few people in traditional Japanese clothes (which you can rent for the day, if baby was older we definitely would have) who looked dope getting pics here, as well as a couple wedding couples. It’s definitely a good place for a picturesque (aka Insta-worthy) moment and it was on our way to the train so we would have been stupid not to do it.

KYOTO HIGASHIYAMA DISTRICT (OLD TOWN) IS INSANELY COOL AND THE BEST

And now, the reason we wanted to come to Kyoto in the first place (besides the Brand New lyrics in mene)…OLD TOWN!!!

We walked from the bamboo forest to the train at Nijo Station, and from there we took a subway that was $5.20 each and was not covered by the JR Pass. That took us pretty close to old town, and after a brief stop at Starbucks to feed baby (and eventually buy something because we felt awkward with the employees coming to look why we were there every 10 minutes), we walked over to the old part of Kyoto…and it ruled.

Seriously, this was pretty much all we knew about Kyoto is that it had an old town and it was supposed to look and feel like Japan used to be…and me likey. A lot.

We got there as it was starting to get dark and I’m not gonna lie, it had kind of a creepy Jack the Ripper type feel with these eerie dim-ish glowing lamps and all these small shops with dim lanterns in the window. It was all wood and had kinda stone-ish streets and it was totally beautiful. Once again, I know it’s dumb and I have no better way to explain, but it just felt like Japan, if that’s even a thing. It was easy to imagine the older days, and it was SOOOOOO different than the crazy neon and skyscrapers that fill most of the other parts of Japan we’d been to. We didn’t really do anything besides stroll around, but it was incredibly cool and if you go to Kyoto you absolutely cannot miss it.

After that, we headed back to our awesome hotel (did I mention the amazing location? I’m not sure I did. It’s amazing because every train and bus goes to the main station which is your hotel. Stay there) and ate in the food court under the Kyoto Tower again. I had really bloody good gyoza and noodles, and Caitlin and baby headed to the Onsen and I headed to one of the highlights of my whole trip: Osaka!

OSAKA CASTLE IS INSANELY DOPE

For some odd reason, and I honestly mean that, Caitlin was very anti-Osaka. She had read that it was just another big city and I was not gonna miss it, even if just a tiny piece. And, again, since we had the JR Pass, it didn’t matter if I was taking the train because it was already paid for, and I didn’t feel like I had to stay a certain amount of time or do anything in particular. I knew I wanted to see Osaka Castle and that was that.

First, the train…you people in Japan are crazy! Both ways on the train it was sooooo packed. And yeah, I know I’ve mentioned this, but it was like 10pm on my way back and it looked like all the business dudes were coming home from work. I’ve heard Japan has long work hours but sheeeeeesh! I actually felt bad for everyone as I was wondering if they really had just worked like 16 hours or something.

Anyways Osaka Castle was 100% worth seeing. The train was something like 45 minutes to Osaka, and I had no idea where I was going and I didn’t really care, I just wanted to get lost in a cool city. I roamed around the station, came across some weirdos playing saxophone and guitar (it was awesome), bought some Red Bull and candy, and then…there she was!

I was roaming through this park right near the station (it’s Japan, you can roam through dark creepy forest parks whenever you want) and all of the sudden…wow. It’s more impressive than it looked in photos, even. Just amazing and super bright and very Japanese looking and way tall. Just bloody rad. Getting to it, however, was a different story…

HAILING MY FIRST TAXI EVER

The castle looked close enough but it was like that one scene in Monty Python where they keep running and never get closer when I tried to get there. I soon realized I would be walking a bloody long time (Google told me like 30 minutes or something) and I might be better off catching a cab, which I had seen a million of around Japan. And yet…do you just hail a cab like the movies? Would I get into a car that wasn’t a cab and the person would be too polite to tell me to get out and would take me for free? Would I be driven to a dark alleyway and politely told off? No idea.

And yeah, it was like in the movies. I went into the road and frantically yelled “Taxi!!!!” until one stopped. Seriously, it pretty much went like that. My cab happened to be an insanely smoky and disgusting one, like the old dude driving it had been chain smoking in it for 55 years, which may have actually been true. There was a major language barrier so I just said “castle,” and he seemed to get it and off we went. I had cash, and it was slightly more than I thought it would be ($15 or so) for a short drive, but whatever, I had to see the castle up close.

The dude dropped me off at what felt like the middle of nowhere, I honestly thought he’d scammed me for a minute until I realized the grounds to Osaka Castle are huge and I had to walk a decent ways around the walls and moat to get to the actual building part.

OSAKA CASTLE AT CHRISTMASTIME = $$$

Now, back to the castle. Now, I hate to overstate this, because Caitlin wasn’t there, and I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE how people will pick up on the one thing you didn’t do on any given trip and swear that you missed the BEST PART and so forth. But seriously, and I’m not just saying this to make Caitlin feel bad or nothin…Osaka Castle was one of my favorite parts of this trip.

For one, there was this massive Christmas lights show going on around the grounds. It actually cost something like $13 to go to that, and I thought I was going to have to pay just to walk around the castle but that was a different thing. From up near the castle, though, I was able to see some of the Christmas lights and hear the annoying songs play over and over, so I was glad I didn’t have to pay and still got to see it.

But the castle itself? Dannnnnng Gina it’s crazy. It was cool because between it being late (like 8pm or something) and dark and fairly cold, I literally was the only one around the castle for most of my walk. It took ages to get around the walls and moat, but even that was cool. Once you get close, it’s just…amazing. I don’t know what words to use, but it’s incredible. It’s really well-lit and it sits pretty high above where you stand, so it just looks like this big floating castle. It’s a cool mix of Japanese and traditional architecture and I had so much fun just walking around, taking photos, reading its history online, and once again just marveling about the fact I was in Japan. Like…who’s life am I living?!

DIDI = UBER OR LYFT OR WHATEVER

Once again I didn’t feel like walking for 30+ minutes to the train, so I downloaded some app called Didi which is the Japanese version of Lyft or something, and I had some promo code I found online that gave me a few bucks off. It actually took about 10 minutes to get a cab to show up, and one random dude pulled up and I started to get in until he realized I wasn’t his passenger, but whatever. Weirdly enough, Didi told me I’d been “upgraded” to a Star Wars cab, which literally just meant the guy had these semi-ghetto Star Wars seat covers and signs on his car, and somehow people pay more for that or something. But yeah, it was like $15 to get back to the station, well worth the money in my opinion. I got on the train, which I already mentioned was crazy crowded even late, went back to our awesome hotel, and got two hot steaming bowls of fishy ramen…both for Caitlin, of course. I finished the night with a bunch of old naked Japanese dudes in the onsen, as you always should whilst in Japan. Good day indeed.

DAY 7: NARA DEER ARE VERY GOOD DEER

Nara was a place I was super stoked for, and that turned out to be a well-founded excitement. We caught the train to Nara and it was a 45-minute train ride, and for the first and last time ever, the train was actually NOT crowded, which was nice. Weirdly enough though, as we were waiting for the train, I tried to go to the bathroom in the station and there were SO many cops blocking the men’s bathroom and telling me I couldn’t go in. I was so curious what had happened, and I kept looking online since they wouldn’t say what was happening. All I know is I had to hold it for an hour to pee in Nara. Which reminds me…

HOW HAVE I NOT MENTIONED JAPANESE TOILET SEATS YET?!

Ok I’m really upset with myself about this. Toilets in Japan are…heavenly. Like, every single one. I’m not kidding. Toilets at the places we stayed, whether apartments or hotels, toilets in restaurants, toilets in train stations. All. Of. Them. Why, you ask? I’ll tell you why. They have heated toilet seats!

It’s like this super heavy duty toilet seat that plugs in and basically gets warm as soon as you sit on it. It’s just a beautiful feeling, you can tell they really care about your bathroom experience in Japan. They also have bidets with multiple settings and functions, which I cannot speak on, but the seats just rule and Caitlin and I are trying to get one immediately.

NARA DEER MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A DISNEY PRINCESS

Pretty much all we knew about Nara is there’s heaps of deer there and the deer are very good deer. And yep, that’s about it, and it’s awesome! The train station is like 15 minutes walk from the deer park, so we took a bus that I think we had to pay for (not JR Pass but like $2 each or something) and you know you’re at the right place when you see deer literally everywhere. It’s crazy. They’re wild, from what I know, but wild in the sense that people have taken over their lives and now they are nice to people to get stuff from them…which is the way I like deer!

There’s all these old people with tables selling these wafer things around the park and I think they’re like $2 and the deer love them. So basically you walk around and deer follow you around and eat right out of your hand. It’s pretty bloody cool, and for the most part the deer are well behaved. For the most part.

Caitlin somehow attracted an aggressive deer who would not accept the fact that he couldn’t have all of her wafers, so he started following her closely and then even butted her with his head a couple times while I nearly fell over laughing so hard. Then, another one got right into baby’s face, even trying to take a bite out of her stroller. Oh and one ate the luggage tag from the stroller…I hope that deer is ok and that the tag was delicious. Good times. But really, Nara is totally worth going to just for the deer, but there’s even more to Nara than deer…such as:

NARA PREFECTURAL OFFICE = AWESOME VIEW, RELAXATION SPOT

Now that I’m looking online, I guess this building is well known for its views. Me, however? I just roamed around looking for a bathroom, which I found inside this building. Then, because I was already there, I decided to go up to the top floor and see what I could see, and to my delight there’s an amazing rooftop patio. We fed baby up there, ate our snacks and lunch, and just relaxed. It’s a really beautiful spot and has some cool views of Nara. It was a pleasant hidden gem for us and since it’s literally across the street from the deer park, you might as well go. Plus, you’ll see a couple rebellious deer in the grass of the building which is cool.

WALKING TO TODAI-JI TEMPLE WHERE I AM HUMILIATED PUBLICLY

After the rooftop, it was a nice walk over to the Todai-ji Temple, which is another awesome spot in Nara. It’s a big complex (one that I just found out literally right now on Wikipedia that Bob Dylan played at in 1994) with buildings but the main highlight is the Grand Buddha Hall. It was $6 each to get in, cash only. There are some super dope statue heads and a really, really, really massive Buddha made of wood. It was nice and sunny inside and there was heaps of Japanese high school or middle school kids there and it was just a fun atmosphere, particularly because they loved our baby. However, my enjoyment was short-lived, as my greatest humiliation (at least in the last week or so) was about to happen…

BUDDHA’S NOSTRIL

Yikes. Sheesh. Why am I putting this in print, where all my loyal reader (hi, mom) will now know the depths of my embarrassment? Well, here goes nothin…

So Buddha’s Nostril is this hole inside one of the wooden pillars holding up this temple, and it’s supposedly as big as one of the nostrils on the massive massive very large Buddha statue in the room. And if you crawl through it, you supposedly have good luck or something, whatever, I just wanted to crawl through a dang tree.

But first, baby! We knew baby needed good luck since she’s a Mallory and Mallory LITERALLY means unlucky, so hopefully Buddha’s Nostril would reverse the curse. Plus, there was a ton of school kids going through, and they were all excited that I was standing in line with a baby. I put her through and she was immediately lucky, plus the crowd loved it. It was fun and cute. What happened next was not.

So I used to be skinny. Like, deathly skinny. Like, 100 pounds skinny. And yeah, I’m not tall, but it wasn’t a good kind of skinny. But I got used to it, and one day around age 23, I suddenly got some belly fat. And more. And more. And more. Until now, when I have a legit dad bod gut and it sucks and I hate it and keto plus exercise plus lots of other stuff hasn’t helped one iota. So I should have known I shouldn’t have done it…But, again, my last name is Mallory, and I needed some good luck. I mean, after all, I was in Japan with a beautiful wife and healthy baby, so obviously my life needed some help.

Yes, dear reader (hi, mom), I got stuck in Buddha’s Nostril and I had to be pushed from one side and pulled from the other like a giant fat booger from his nose. It was not pleasant, nor was it dignified. Masses of Japanese schoolchildren laughed at me and a crowd gathered to see the fat American stuck in a tree. I wish I was kidding. Finally, I was pushed and pulled and I wriggled and struggled and listened to 10 people telling me 10 different ways to contort my body and I emerged from the hellish birth canal with no dignity and barely with my life. The best part? The crowd cheered, and I legitimately mean cheered, when this fat Yank got unstuck. Sigh…

THE GENERIC FORTUNE TELLER IS KINDA COOL…ALSO, BOWING DEER

This is minor but kinda cool. In Cambodia at Angkor Wat I had my fortune told by a Thai monk, and it basically said life would suck but get better. In Japan, I noticed these fortune telling things at some of the touristy places, but I saw lots of Japanese people using them so I knew I had to.

You give the person like $1-2 and choose a tile from a bag or box, which corresponds to a scroll you take out of a different box. They give you a fortune and yeah it’s generic and boring but it felt like a cool Japanese thing to do.

As we left, we noticed a bunch of people around the straggler deer that hang out around the temple, and we realized why…they bow. THE DEER BOW! I’m not even kidding, it’s amazing and so cool to see. Even their deer are polite man!

ENDING OUR NIGHT AT FUSHIMI INARI WAS PERFECT

“Raining in Kyoto /It’s flooding the streets/I’m nursing a [Red Bull] from a vending machine/
I saw the god of rice, a fox with a key” -The Wonder Years, Raining in Kyoto.

All I know is while we were in Kyoto, I listened to this song nonstop and it was stuck in my head every second of the day, so I was thrilled to get to Fushimi Inari and actually see the dang fox.

Fushimi Inari is a 100% can’t miss in Kyoto. We got there as it was starting to get dark, and just like in old town, it had a very creepy and eerie feel. I think I played too much Fatal Frame as a kid. But there’s heaps of these Japanese gates, like everywhere. And they just keep going and going and it’s a huge tunnel with dim lighting and it’s eerie but so cool. The whole complex is cool because there’s shops and food and lots to see. And yes, we did see the fox with the key. I should mention, from Nara it was about an hour train, and again it wasn’t too crowded on the train which was nice. The whole experience at Fushimi Inari was cool and we were super glad we went; it was a perfect end to the night. As usual, though, the train back to Kyoto was absolute insanity.

DAY 8: THE VIEWS OF MOUNT FUJI ON THE TRAIN BACK: *CHEF’S KISS*

Look, dawg. I’ve been in some pretty places. I’ve chilled in Iceland and New Zealand (NZ for 2 years, at that) and Switzerland and lots of others. I know what a good mountain looks like. I live in Utah, home of good mountains. But dannnnnnnnnng, seeing Mount Fuji, even just from the train, is some next level stuff.

It is just a majestic looking mountain, and it kinda seems like it comes out of nowhere. We saw it briefly on the way down to Kyoto, but the trip back had way better views. I got up on the train and just stood by the window and took photo after photo and I love every single photo I took. Just that view alone made the train ride back to Tokyo awesome.

IMPERIAL PALACE EAST GARDENS

At this point, we felt super content with our trip. I hadn’t really seen the Skytree or Eiffel Tower up close, but I wasn’t totally heartbroken about that. Other than that, we had done everything I wanted to do. So once we got back to Tokyo and ditched our stuff at our hotel (the Tokyu Stay Nihombashi…which, by the way, is like 1 minute walk away from a JR train station (Shin-Nihombashi Station) that goes to Tokyo Station…a bunch of people online said this train station didn’t work to get to Tokyo Station or that it wasn’t a JR Station…they’re wrong) and headed to the gardens.

Honestly, this was a great way to wind down our trip. For one, it’s free, which is cool. And they give you a token when you go in that you have to return, which I thought was odd, but I think it’s so people don’t hide inside the park when it closes because they’ll know how many people were in there. It was a chill place where the cops were on bikes and besides a bunch of super loud and probably drunk Aussies, all was relaxing and quiet.

There’s a bunch of history that I won’t relate, but it’s basically just a bunch of pretty gardens and trees and a little stream, all of which make for nice photos and nice place to get Zen. We just roamed and talked and baby slept and people came and asked about her and all was well. It’s cool because it’s Tokyo and you can see tall buildings and stuff but it feels like you’re not in a big city…kinda like Central Park in NYC. Very much good and enjoyable.

MY BIGGEST REGRET: EATING AT SHABUSEN GINZA

Since our experience at Shabusai was so good (3.8 stars on Google? Get bent.), we wanted to try another place. Rather than just go back, which we knew was the safe bet, we decided to find another highly rated place and had hopes that it might even be BETTER. Alas, we really blew it because it sucked and it was double the price.

We ended up going to a place that did shabu shabu called Shabusen Ginza, but we ended up ordering this “soup,” which was pretty much plain water that you boiled stuff in and then dipped into sauces, all of which were not good. The beef and pork just weren’t really good tasting, the sauces were flavorless, and there was hardly any food. Yes, I’m a fat America, but still…And then they asked if we wanted more but then told us it wasn’t included. No bloody thanks. It seriously was a huge disappointment and we still talk about it to this day, how we should have just gone back to Shabusai. We suck. It was $60 and we left hungry, depressed, and with a very bland taste in our mouths. C’est la vie. With that everlasting sadness, we went home for our final sleep in Japan.

DAY 9: WATCHING THE BIG BOYS AT ARASHIO-BEYA SUMO STABLE

One thing I was bummed about was when I learned there were only a few sumo tournaments a year in Japan. I just assumed there would be sumo wrestlers everywhere and matches would take place whenever I wanted them to, so when I found out that wasn’t true, I figured we wouldn’t get to see any sumo, which made me sad. I mean, when in Tokyo, right?

Anyways, this is a can’t miss whilst in Tokyo! Repeat…you have to see this!!!!

First off, isn’t it kinda rude to call the places where the sumos train “stables”?! I mean, I know they’re big dudes but come on, STABLES? They may be as large as farm animals but don’t call their homes a STABLE! Nonetheless, I digress.

So yeah, my friend Google told me about this place and I figured it was worth a shot. The best part? Their website has a dialogue to use to find out if sumo training will happen the next day, and IT ACTUALLY WORKED! No, seriously, check this out:

1. YOU: Moshi-Moshi (Hello.)
2. WE (Arashio-Beya): Hi, Arashio-beya desu. (Yes, this is Arashio-beya.)
3. YOU: Ashita Keiko Arimasu-ka? (Will keiko take place tommorow morning?)
4. WE: Hi, Arimasu. (Yes, it will.) or
   Yeeye, Arimasen. (No, it will not.)
5. YOU: Arigatou (Thank you.) or
   Yuck-ree Onegai shimasu. (Excuse me, please more slowly.)
6. WE: Arigatou gozai-mashita. (Thank you so much.)

I called and used that and they actually said yes, so I knew we could go the next morning. SO DOPE! And I am so so so glad we went!

We ended up just taking a cab over there since the train was an hour and a cab was something like 12 minutes. It was $10-15 each way, so certainly not cheap, but I absolutely couldn’t miss sumo in Japan if I had the chance.

Basically, you stand outside this building with a huge window and watch giant dudes throw each other around. No, seriously, that’s it. But it’s rad. We got there pretty early and were the first ones, so we got right up to the window. It gets way steamy inside, but some nice old guy who has a cool cat sitting on him continually gets up and de-fogs the windows so you can see inside. Even though you’re in the street/sidewalk, they still say don’t talk or use flash because the doors and windows are open and they may get distracted.

And seriously? These dudes are fit! I couldn’t believe it! They’re pudgy, yes (not like I’m one to speak) but their strength is just unreal. And when they go to the ground, it’s this graceful roll thing where they don’t look like the types of things these giant dudes should be able to do. It was pretty incredible to watch and was 100% worth doing. In fact, it was one of my favorite things we did. GO!

THE SAD TREK HOME BEGINS

Just like that, our trip was over besides the worst part—the journey home. We checked out of our hotel and headed to Tokyo Station where we were going to catch the Narita Express. As I mentioned, book your seats ahead of time, because the train can get crowded. We had done that, so we headed to the station to find some eats and…

SEA URCHINS ONLY…A RESTAURANT MADE ONLY OF SEA URCHIN FOOD

Inside the station, we were trying to find a place that would let us come in with both a stroller and our large backpacks, and several places said no because space was limited. Finally, we saw a place that had a couple pictures of their food that looked like traditional ramen or something, asked if we could bring stuff in, they said yes and rearranged a table and we were ordering our last meal. In Japan they often have an English menu if you ask, and we were seriously shocked when they gave us the English menu because…

Everything contained sea urchin. I’m not joking, it was a sea urchin only restaurant. I wouldn’t touch sea urchin alive or dead and certainly wouldn’t eat it, but Caitlin had tried it at her conveyor belt sushi place and hated it so we knew we had to bail.

I mean, I know it’s Japan and they like seafood, but it reminded me of that Simpsons episode:
Waiter: I’m sorry, ma’am, but everything on the menu has fish in it.

Marge: Mmm, what about the bread? Does that have much fish in it?

Waiter: Yes.

Literally everything was sea urchin. They were super polite and nice when we said sorry we are going to leave (it’s Japan, they’re always polite and nice), but we still laugh about it now that there’s a restaurant that serves only and exclusively sea urchin. Good times.

Anyways, I ended up getting a ramen bowl that the waitress told me was chicken. Like, I said does this have fish? She said no. I said any fish? She said no, chicken. And when it arrived it was the fishiest ramen I’ve ever smelled or tasted. Needless to say, I left it uneaten which I felt bad about but whatever. Just like that, we were off to the airport and the miserable trek home.

NARITA AIRPORT LOUNGE: MEH

As I always say, traveling with Priority Pass rules and the lounges range from “better than sitting in the airport terminal, but barely” (Stansted), to “this lounge is the best thing ever” (mainly ones with showers like Cambodia and Peru), but no matter what, lounges beat not having a lounge. The Tokyo one was fine, nothing special. It had really basic snacks and drinks, but was quiet and clean, 2 things which most airport terminals are not, so it was a win for us. As I mentioned earlier, the Seattle lounge was better, decent food, but SOOOOO crowded on the way home, and of course there was this huge group of American college kids who sounded drunk (8am, whatever) and were SOOOOO loud. It was very annoying but whatever.

THE FLIGHTS HOME: UNEVENTFUL. FINAL REFLECTIONS: JAPAN RULES

To make up for not sleeping the whole flight to Japan, baby slept the whole flight home. She slept all the way from Tokyo to Seattle almost without a peep. In Seattle, we changed her in the lounge (like 5 times) and people ogled her and asked all about her, and then she slept again from Seattle to SLC. Major win.

In closing: Japan ruled. I never had this obsession to go like so many people, but I kinda thought it would be novel and fun but nothing too special. I was wrong, it was amazing. The food, the people, the sights…everything was perfect…even with a newborn.

So…what did we miss? Hit us on Facebook, Instagram or check out our YouTube Channel and tell us how we’re the worst travelers ever and missed the best parts of Japan, or drop us a line at [email protected].

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GEAR

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I kinda repeat this section on every blog post, but seriously, this is all stuff we have and use, nothing filler. Below are some of the items we took:

ESSENTIAL BABY GEAR FOR THE LIGHT-PACKING WORLD TRAVELERS:

Now I’m gonna dad out on this section, and I do not apologize. Some of this stuff would have meant nothing to me pre-child and now it changes my life daily. So buckle up it’s gonna get dad-ish in here.

OH MY GOODNESS THE DOONA STROLLER CARSEAT: Yes, it’s expensive, but if you travel (and even if you don’t) this is a MUST! It’s a car seat that pops into a stroller immediately. I never have to lug my baby around in a car seat. On the plane, you roll it to her seat, pop it into car seat mode, and strap it to the seat (FAA approved size). In Japan we made it a car seat on trains and stuff where things were crowded then a stroller when we got off. Seriously and truly the best baby thing we own. It makes it so you don’t have to take two pieces of gear, which is rad.

Ergobaby Carrier: So nice to just plop baby in and carry her around Japan (or the house). She loves it, we love it, win win win.

Lots and Lots of Diapers: I already mentioned this but we just lined our bags with diapers rather than take them in their bulky packaging.

Pacifier/Toy Clip: As clean as Japan is, we didn’t want to be picking up binkies and toys off the bathroom floor, so we would clip them to baby or her stroller or whatever and they never fell or got lost, plus she could always reach them.

Stroller Cover: Super basic, but it kept baby out of the elements and let her sleep. Caitlin was also able to use it as a nursing cover.

Baby Changing Pad: Even though Japan has HEAPS of changing tables and is very family friendly, I don’t trust those tables…I’ve seen what babies do to them. So we would put down a pad just to be sanitary and safe.

Baby Cloud Suit Peg Leg Thing: This isn’t actually the one we took, but we got this one piece fleece suit thing (with clouds on it, so we called it her cloud suit). We got one a size big on purpose so we could just put it on over her outfit when it got cold. Plus, it made her look like a pegleg which was fun.

SwaddleMe Swaddles: We’ve loved these since the day baby was born, and they help her sleep sooooo much better.

BELOW IS STUFF WE TAKE EVERYWHERE

Caitlin’s Stupid Awesome Space Saver Day Pack Thing: I told her she had way too much junk when she bought this, but I digress: You win, Caitlin, and if you only read this blog you’d see me say this. Oh well. This bag was SUPER cheap, amazing to take on day trips, and folds up into practically nothing. Seriously, just do it now.

Amazon Prime: C’mon, it’s 2020. Get free 2-day shipping (which was necessary since we always found something we needed at the last minute) and lots of good music and TV/movies which make road trips more enjoyable. Try it free and you won’t be disappointed. Plus, pretty much everything below will ship to you free in 2 days in the USA.

AUKEY Powerbank External Portable Charger: This thing has saved us many times. It’s nice to have around the house, but it’s nicer to have during a long flight or a 12 hour day at Machu Picchu. It has 2 USB inputs and charges our iPhones really fast. It’s a bit bulky, but we get 2-3 charges from it each time. SO worth having.

Anker External Portable Charger: Yes, we take 2 portable chargers on our trip. This one isn’t as long-lasting, but it’s much smaller and lighter. It’s a bit annoying charging 2 every night, but really worth it to have charged phones the entire day.

My Pants: Ever since my days braving the brutal Wellington rain in a suit, I HATE having wet pants. These Columbia pants were perfect to put on over my jeans if I needed, which I only did a couple times. Never got even a drop under them. Well worth it.

My Bag: As I said above, we travel LIGHT. Especially with cheap airlines like Ryanair, where things are expensive, having a versatile bag is a must. This bag is not incredibly nice, but it has a lifetime warranty and it can cinch down to unbelievably small sizes. It’s made it through 6 continents with no problems yet.

Ponchos: Another must for pretty much whenever. Just get something waterproof that won’t blow off immediately.

Towels: These ones are awesome because they fold up small and dry incredibly quick. We got an off brand, our friend Loinz has an original Packtowl which he raves about. Your call.

Space Saver Bags: These have proved invaluable on our travels. It’s amazing how small clothing can shrink down to in one of these! Highly recommended.

Outlet Plugs: Of course, when traveling overseas you need a plug
adapter. We’ve had these exact ones for at least 5 years. We’ve taken them to 6 continents and they’re still going strong. And, they’re super cheap and have everything you need all in one, so you don’t have to bring a bunch of different parts. Highly recommended.

Aux Cable: You probably already have a million of these. Most cars we’ve rented have a USB that connected directly to the music, so we could charge our phones and blast tunes at the same time. The longer cable is nice so if someone is in the backseat they can still charge and control the music or navigate or browse Instagram or whatever)

Carry On Luggage Bag: This is the first time we’ve taken a carry-on bag, but we needed it for diapers. We usually fly Delta so we got one that was within their measurements.

MacBook Air: OK this is probably pushing it for necessities, but I do have to work on the road and it’s perfect to take with us. Small, lightweight, powerful, and mine has a pink cover for good measure.

PLACES WE STAYED

Tokyo for most of the trip: This tiny, affordable Airbnb (use my code here) was perfect, just what we needed, and near the train station.

Kyoto: YOU HAVE TO STAY HERE AT THE DORMY INN! An onsen and free ramen and nice rooms and basically AT the train station!

Tokyo final night: This place was nothing special but good location and good room.

MISCELLANEOUS

Caitlin and I are on T-Mobile, which is awesome because we can text and use data for free. This meant navigation was all free (didn’t have to rent a GPS) and we could find attractions on the go, as well as me managing the business from afar without searching for Wi-Fi. So good!

If you don’t have TSA Global Entry, I highly recommend it. Not only do you get through TSA lines quickly and without removing shoes, belts, and liquids, but you also get to come back through customs much faster. It probably saved us at least 1-2 hours this trip.

One of the best travel tips I’ve ever had is to save clothes you’re going to throw away or donate and wear them on trips. Along the way, toss or donate them. Not only does it feel amazing having an empty pack on the way home, but on a strict airline like Ryanair, you’ll avoid heavy baggage fees. I ditched everything I took except what I wore home and it was awesome…except when Caitlin put her clothes into my bag without me knowing.