Las Vegas
Contents
A VERY, VERY TAME VERSION OF LAS VEGAS
Soooooo…if you want a really tame version of Las Vegas brought to you by two boring and parents-to-be, you’re in the right place! If you want a post about the vices and lasciviousness Vegas is traditionally known for…I’m sure Google can help.
Growing up in Utah, I’ve been to Vegas probably a minimum of 15 times. Once, in college, on Sunday night where Monday was President’s Day (or something), me and a few friends were sitting around bored and someone said we should go to Vegas. Within 15 minutes we were on the highway. What did we do, you ask? Pretty much nothing, but it was rad. We showed up early in the morning and were very disappointed to see that, contrary to popular belief, Vegas did indeed sleep. Then we went to Caesar’s Palace, I asked some old lady to let us into the pool (“Sure, you can be my grandson today,” she said) and we spent the day lounging. Ah to be young dumb and free.
So yeah, we went for a night this past week. Caitlin’s extremely pregnant and it’s not like we did anything too cool. The Grand Canyon and Bryce Canyon were much cooler, but alas, that’s in the next post.
Actually, I’m going to put these all as one post since it was one semi-long road trip, but I’ll also post them as separate posts since it’s 3 states. So sue me. My site, my rules.
MESQUITE…HOW VEGAS USED TO BE (MEANING RUN DOWN AND GHETTO)
I somehow had a free night at a hotel in Mesquite, so we left after Caitlin got off work on Thursday to kickstart our adventure. And it was…something. We stayed at the Virgin River, which, as TV tells us, is “like Vegas used to be.” I don’t know what that means but it’s…not great. The hotel is a bunch of different buildings and ours was not the worst place we’ve ever stayed but not ideal. Whatever, it was free so who am I to complain? Now let us never speak of Mesquite again.
WELCOME TO FABULOUS LAS VEGAS
Now, if you don’t listen to “Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas” by Brandon Flowers as you drive into Vegas, especially as you see it on the horizon, you’re doing it wrong. It’s one of our great traditions and it rules. Now, Wikipedia and Google and YouTube are things, so I’m not going to recount much about Vegas. This is a mini post. But I really enjoy the city. Yeah it’s got seedy and sketchy stuff, but it’s also got lots of cool and decent stuff too, it just depends what you’re looking for. It was extremely hot when we drove in, but that didn’t bother me much. What did bother me? The obscene resort and parking fees, but alas, that’s for the next part. As always, the strip was packed and I’m always nervous driving on the strip because there’s always a few (or a million) pedestrians who just walk where and when they want. Luckily, we didn’t hit anyone and before we knew it we were checking into the best room ever at the Aria.
ARIA HOTEL: YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
Somehow (don’t ask) I also had a free room at Aria. I should say a “free” room at Aria, but more on that in a second. Let’s just get to the good first: The room freakin ruled. It was nice, high up, had a super comfortable bed, had robes we got to lounge around in, had an amazing shower and bathtub, was huge, was new, was awesome, and, Caitlin’s (and Larry David’s) personal favorite thing: Automatic blinds. No really.
Caitlin, they weren’t that cool. I mean, it’s blackout blinds and sheer blinds, and they’re controlled by a switch like a light. Woot. But the room was rad, it even had an iPad you could close the blinds from as well as order a lot of really expensive food and entertainment from. It felt very high tech and it was one of the nicer rooms we’ve ever stayed in. We had a nice view of the pools and loved every second we spent at the Aria.
In theory, their digital checkin is pretty dope too. In theory. There’s an app that notifies you when your room is ready (2 hours early for us, very cool), and sends you a QR code to go print your room keys at a kiosk. Pretty bloody futuristic right? But alas, when I got there to actually do that, it told me I had to go to the front desk. And the line was very long. Do better Vegas!
RESORT FEES: NO NO NO NO NO NO
So back in my day, you could get a room in Vegas for like $20 and that was that. Then it was like $20 with a $10 resort fee, and nobody knew what that was, but we paid it because we had to and it was still cheap. And now?
It’s super dishonest, really. Your room price shows up as $60 (or whatever) and then there’s a $40 resort fee per night. So is your room really $60? No, it’s not, and it shouldn’t show as such. And what does the resort fee cover? Things that on a normal planet are included in any hotel stay like internet and gym/pool access. What if I don’t want to use the internet/gym/pool? Doesn’t matter, resort fee is mandatory. And yet…
PARKING CHARGES: NO NO NO NO NO NO
Oh wait, the $40 resort fee doesn’t cover parking, which is $20 per 24 hours. Seriously. No really. Again, back in my day, you could park anywhere on the strip for free because, remember, the entire business model of Vegas is to get you into a casino and take all your money. You don’t go into a casino if you have to pay $20 to park. But alas, those days are gone, so my “free” room was actually $60. And yes, I knew this in advance, and yes, it was awesome that I saved the $120 the room would have normally cost. But c’mon Vegas, this is getting way out of hand.
GRIMALDI’S PIZZA: AWESOME AND GREAT AND DELICIOUS AND GOOD
Way back in the day, Caitlin and I went to New York City. We met some friends and walked the Brooklyn Bridge and because I love pizza so much, we headed to the legendary Grimaldi’s Pizzeria…to find a 3 hour wait. No, seriously, it was like 10pm and they told us it would be 3 hours. I was seriously upset, but I was more hungry and couldn’t wait. And yes, people say the ones outside New York and New Jersey aren’t the same but whatever, the Vegas ones rule.
Oh, and as an added bonus, Grimaldi’s gives you a free pizza on your birthday, and I still had my coupon. Oh blessed day. And it was amazing, as always. We got a pepperoni, which I’ve always found is one of the best. In Phoenix we got a couple specialty pizzas once and I feel like it’s better to go with either cheese, pepperoni, or white. Everything else feels more average, but those 3 rule. And the cheesecake is amazing too. Just go. Now!
GOODBYE VEGAS, UNTIL NEXT TIME
Annnnnnnd…that’s pretty much it. We spent time in the Aria pool, lounged around until checkout, got some bagels and groceries, and we were off to something I’ve wanted to see my whole life: the Grand Canyon.
THE GRAND CANYON
THE GRAND CANYON: IT’S PRETTY DANG GRAND
Back in the day when I lived in New Zealand for 2 years, I remember some rando kid asked me if I’d seen the Grand Canyon. When I said no he asked why not, and I really didn’t have a reason except that my family didn’t travel. (Then again, lots of kiwis haven’t been to the North or South Island, whichever one they don’t live on, so I guess it’s a common thing to miss out on cool stuff in your own backyard). So yeah, for 34 years I never hit the Grand Canyon and I should have. I always meant to, I always wanted to, but I never did it. Until now.
THE SOUTH RIM IS GOOD
Now, I know the drive from Vegas to the West Rim is only 2 hours. And the skywalk looks cool and all, but I read that the West Rim is crazy expensive and crowded and lots of waiting in lines. Hard pass. So we made the nearly 5 hour drive to the South Rim and it was awesome. The drive was awesome because we blasted tunes and it’s just fun to chill with your spouse, even in a small car on a long road trip. Good times.
STAYING IN WILLIAMS ARIZONA IS NOT SO GOOD
We stayed at the Travelodge in Williams Arizona, and we did it because it was much cheaper than staying right at the Grand Canyon. It seemed like a good idea at the time, staying an hour outside the entrance didn’t seem so bad, and it meant we’d get to stop after 5 hours rather than 6. Alas, it wasn’t my best choice.
See, we got into Williams around 2pm, got some eats, sat on the bed for a second, then we had to leave anyways. So it really would have been nearly the same to just keep going. Plus, in the end, we only did like 5 or 6 hours at the Grand Canyon. Had we stayed closer, we could have done more the next morning. Whatever, we didn’t, lesson learned. Next time I think it would make more sense to stay inside the park, even if it means spending more money, because it also means spending more time there.
VISITING THE GRAND CANYON WHILE PREGNANT IS…OK
Let me preface this with a long ramble (as usual). Usually on Jetset Wanderlife, I want to create really in-depth itineraries for people. Planning our first Iceland trip took SO BLOODY LONG because of the vast amounts of info out there and the limited amount of time we had. So I put together a deep itinerary that people could literally use as their entire (or partial) trip without any effort. As a nice side benefit, these blogs serve as fun ways for Caitlin and I to remember the trips well and when people ask about stuff, we can send them a link since nobody wants to listen to me talk for 45 minutes about the pros and cons of renting donkeys at Petra.
And usually, I think I serve my purpose quite well (humblebrag). However, some of these short posts aren’t super informative and I get that. I just want to remember our fun times (also the miserable times while Caitlin was pregnant but I was still having fun) and maybe someone can glean something along the way. The dream is to turn this into some type of income, but honestly, it’s just fun and a good outlet for me. So yeah, this Grand Canyon post isn’t my most in-depth but it’s for my posterity.
So yeah, aside from Caitlin throwing up on the Grand Canyon Rim Trail, this was pretty dope. Her pregnancy nausea made it not as cool for her, but she’s a trucker and pushed through. Me, though?
VISITING THE GRAND CANYON WHILE NOT PREGNANT (ME) IS SO BLOODY AMAZING
Yeah, this ruled. Aside from feeling awful that Caitlin was feeling awful, the Grand Canyon was so amazingly cool. It was $35 to get in (more on this in the Bryce Canyon section/post), but well worth that even just for the afternoon. I’ve seen the Waimea Canyon in Kauai that they say is like a mini Grand Canyon, and I’ve seen lots of other cool canyons around Utah but…wow.
I can’t really describe the canyon in any words that do it justice. The vastness is almost hard for the brain to comprehend. It’s, uh…massive. It’s just amazing and awesome to look at, and the south rim is a great place to see it all.
There were several viewpoints within a few minutes of the parking lot. They were all fairly crowded but not insane, and we just had to wait a few minutes at each one to get to the edge and really appreciate the views. It’s crazy how easily you could fall over the side, which I guess is why people fall over the side every few months. So be careful, kids.
THE SOUTH RIM TRAIL IS PERFECT FOR AN EASY OVERVIEW
We ended up talking to a ranger and she told us to just walk around the rim. She told us the Yavapai Geology Museum was probably a decent stopping or turnaround point, so off we went. And yeah, it’s great. It’s a super easy paved trail but every step is an incredible view. Lots of it has no guardrails or any fencing or anything, so again, it’s not hard to see how easily people fall to their death. Luckily, nobody did while we were there (we think), but I did read about a plane crash in 1956 where two planes hit midair over the canyon and it took ages to find the wreckage. Looking down at the bloody massive canyon, it wasn’t hard to see why.
The museum was cool too, not totally necessary or anything but fun to look at with more cool views. The whole thing was awesome and, even while pregnant and throwing up on the side of the trail, Caitlin crushed it.
STAR PARTY!
As has happened many times to us (like the parade in Austria), we stumbled across something cool on total accident. Even though our last name means unlucky or unfortunate, something things turn up Mitch! There were signs everywhere promoting a star party, and since we’d gotten a fairly late start on the canyon anyways, it was perfect because it was just getting darkish as we finished the trail.
Now, what is a star party, you may ask, just like I did? Basically a bunch of poindexters bring really giant expensive telescopes to the Grand Canyon and let schmoes like me look through them. But alas, I’m ahead of myself.
Before the stars were fully out, they had some egghead come give a presentation about how the moon landing astronauts came and trained at the Grand Canyon. He had a bunch of old photos of them and it was kinda cool to see how it helped prepare them for the moon. I have no idea if these presentations are common there, but it was chill and we all sat outside on the concrete watching and listening, biding our time until cover of darkness.
Annnnnnnd the star party was pretty rad actually. There was a big parking lot blocked off, and we stood in fairly short lines randomly to go look in telescopes. All the ones we looked through were huge, like I’ve never seen such big ones outside of an observatory, and very expensive. And we couldn’t touch anything. But nonetheless it was cool, we saw planets and galaxies and all sorts of crazy things that are hard to fathom. Plus, just looking up at the stars sans telescope was cool. Highly recommended.
AGAIN, STAY INSIDE THE PARK
The hour plus drive was not awesome, it was poorly lit, and we were exhausted (and Caitlin sick, surprise surprise). As we passed all the lodging inside the park, I cursed myself and the world and my existence for not staying closer. We actually didn’t even go back the next day, which I was fine with, but we would have if it wasn’t an hour drive there and back. So just don’t be cheap like I was/am. And thus it is. Amen.
BRYCE CANYON
BRYCE CANYON: A NOT-SO-HIDDEN GEM
Utah sucks. Mormons are weird. There’s nothing to do. There’s no nightlife, according to the 2017 Golden State Warriors. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. To that I say: Whatever. I hate the winter, so yeah, for me Utah sucks for 5 months a year. Outside of that though, Utah bloody rules, and Bryce Canyon is one of the many many reasons why.
THE NATIONAL PARKS PASS IS WORTH IT IF YOU DO 2+ PARKS
First off, since the Grand Canyon already cost $35, the National Parks pass made sense for us…we just didn’t know it yet. I paid the $35 to get into Bryce Canyon National Park…so, by my crude math, it seems we had spent $60 $70 dollars. I didn’t think anything of it, so we went into the park. But, on our way out, I saw that the yearlong pass was $75. Alas, thought I, I missed my chance since I didn’t do it on the way in. Plus, I’d done the Grand Canyon the day before. BUT WAIT!
Luckily, I’d saved my Grand Canyon receipt, and since we’d just done Bryce, I had that receipt too. So I asked the guy at the window if I could just pay the extra $5 and get the yearly pass and he said…YES! So yeah, if you’re gonna do both Grand Canyon and Bryce, pay the extra $5 and have access for a year. If you’re not gonna do more than those, do the pass and give it to someone else, they don’t make you sign it on the spot or anything.
5 HOUR DRIVE FROM GRAND CANYON TO BRYCE
I was actually surprised how long the drive was between these places, but considering it was only 3.5 hours from Bryce to home, it made sense for us to catch it along the way. And I am bloody glad we did! The drive isn’t anything too special, but Bryce absolutely is, including the little town around it.
I can’t remember if I’d ever seen Bryce in my life. I think I had as a kid with scouts, as we did lots of cool hikes and camps (I hate camping) like Goblin Valley and The Narrows. Still, seeing Bryce for the first time (at least, the first time I remember) is pretty dope.
STAYING RIGHT INSIDE THE PARK = YES
Since I learned my lesson by staying outside the Grand Canyon and having to drive forever to get in, this time I sucked it up and paid a bit extra to stay close to Bryce, and it was totally worth it. It meant we got to go in, stay as long as we wanted, go home and sleep, and go in again the next morning before heading home. So perfect.
BRYCE VIEW LODGE
Not going to devote much space here except the Bryce View Lodge was decent and had access to a nice pool at Ruby’s that we enjoyed for about 5 seconds, until the multitude of little kids screaming in an enclosed and echo-filled area drove us crazy. The breakfast at the lodge was decent, it was in their cool farmhouse, which was nice. Otherwise, strictly utilitarian.
I THINK BRYCE IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN GRAND…SO SUE ME
Just seeing Bryce is freakin amazing. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this. Just looking from Sunset Point, which is a view area,, seeing all the crazy colors and the endless jagged peaks and stuff was just rad. So rad. Caitlin was still sick and pregnant and miserably happy, but we were both amazed at the first few. Just seeing that alone would have made the drive worth it, and I am not even kidding.
QUEEN’S GARDEN TRAIL
Not sure if I’ve mentioned it yet, but Caitlin was nearly bursting with her pregnancy, and the entire pregnancy sucked. So yeah, stopping to puke along the way and feeling nauseated and miserable is not awesome, and that meant every trail and hike we decided on doing had to be doable for her. Queen’s Garden is really cool. It’s super easy, just a road down into a forest of red rock formations. There are so many cool places for photos and it’s this mixture of beauty and a bit of eeriness (in my opinion) to just be surrounded by these crazy tall formations. It’s like being in a big city where the skyscrapers block the sun and stuff, but instead of buildings it’s massive rocks. So cool.
It’s pretty steep both up and down, so Caitlin and I took it very slow, but she was a champion—as usual—and did amazing. It was fun to stand at the bottom and just bask in the coolness of the area and soak in the view. It’s one of those ultra-unique places on the planet, and it’s cool to be there and appreciating it.
NAVAJO LOOP TRAIL
Because we were so close to the entrance, we were able to come and go to the park at will. We went and got food at the Bryce Canyon Pines, which was a better option than rubbish like Subway or the Canyon Diner, which people recommended but looked gross. The restaurant was decent, but we were stoked to get back to the park which is why I’m not mentioning the restaurant any more than this sentence.
So yeah, the Navajo Loop trail is another super famous one. It’s got some steep switchbacks and is something like 2 miles, so we didn’t do all of it on account of Caitlin being about to pop. But it’s still fun and gorgeous and awesome and cool and good and we loved just meandering around. We had to get home at a decent hour (actually can’t remember why, but probably lame work or some stupid adult thing) so we weren’t out super late or anything. But we ended up going to Sunset Point once in the afternoon when we arrived and again the next morning before we left. Hence, stay inside the park. Have I hammered home that point yet? Just listen to me please. Thanks. Bye.
So…what did we miss? Hit us on Facebook or Instagram and tell us how we’re the worst travelers ever and missed the best parts of Vegas, or drop us a line at [email protected].
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I kinda repeat this section on every blog post, but seriously, this is all stuff we have and use, nothing filler. Below are some of the items we took:
My Amazing Reef Sandals: Due to an unforeseen tragedy shortly before the Hawaii trip, my original Reef sandals met their untimely end, so I had to very quickly choose a new pair. These rule, trust me.
Caitlin’s Stupid Awesome Space Saver Day Pack Thing: I told her she had way too much junk when she bought this, but I digress: You win, Caitlin, and if you only read this blog you’d see me say this. Oh well. This bag was SUPER cheap, amazing to take on day trips, and folds up into practically nothing. Seriously, just do it now.
Amazon Prime: C’mon, it’s 2019. Get free 2-day shipping (which was necessary since we always found something we needed at the last minute) and lots of good music and TV/movies which make road trips more enjoyable. Try it free and you won’t be disappointed. Plus, pretty much everything below will ship to you free in 2 days in the USA.
AUKEY Powerbank External Portable Charger: This thing has saved us many times. It’s nice to have around the house, but it’s nicer to have during a long flight or a 12 hour day at Machu Picchu. It has 2 USB inputs and charges our iPhones really fast. It’s a bit bulky, but we get 2-3 charges from it each time. SO worth having.
Anker External Portable Charger: Yes, we take 2 portable chargers on our trip. This one isn’t as long-lasting, but it’s much smaller and lighter. It’s a bit annoying charging 2 every night, but really worth it to have charged phones the entire day.
My Bag: As I said above, we travel LIGHT. Especially with cheap airlines like Ryanair, where things are expensive, having a versatile bag is a must. This bag is not incredibly nice, but it has a lifetime warranty and it can cinch down to unbelievably small sizes. It’s made it through 4 continents with no problems yet.
Space Saver Bags: These have proved invaluable on our travels. It’s amazing how small clothing can shrink down to in one of these! Highly recommended.
Aux Cable: You probably already have a million of these. Most cars we’ve rented have a USB that connected directly to the music, so we could charge our phones and blast tunes at the same time. The longer cable is nice so if someone is in the backseat they can still charge and control the music or navigate or browse Instagram or whatever)
MacBook Air: OK this is probably pushing it for necessities, but I do have to work on the road and it’s perfect to take with us. Small, lightweight, powerful, and mine has a pink cover for good measure.
PLACES WE STAYED
The Aria: Absolutely ruled, and minus the ridiculous resort fees and parking charges (you can’t escape these in Vegas anymore), was perfect. One of the best rooms we’ve ever had.
MISCELLANEOUS
Caitlin and I are on T-Mobile, which is awesome because we can text and use data for free. This meant navigation was all free (didn’t have to rent a GPS) and we could find attractions on the go, as well as me managing the business from afar without searching for Wi-Fi. So good!
If you don’t have TSA Global Entry, I highly recommend it. Not only do you get through TSA lines quickly and without removing shoes, belts, and liquids, but you also get to come back through customs much faster. It probably saved us at least 1-2 hours this trip. Once again, the credit card saves our lives.
One of the best travel tips I’ve ever had is to save clothes you’re going to throw away or donate and wear them on trips. Along the way, toss or donate them. Not only does it feel amazing having an empty pack on the way home, but on a strict airline like Ryanair, you’ll avoid heavy baggage fees. I ditched everything I took except what I wore home and it was awesome…except when Caitlin put her clothes into my bag without me knowing.
